Jay Cutler on the MNF Controversy

“I don’t see where there’s any ‘controversy’ at all. Maybe if you don’t want to lose by a questionable Hail Mary touchdown maybe don’t let the fucking Seahawks stay within five points of you. I don’t know, doesn’t seem that hard to me. Russel Wilson’s what, like 5’2″, and Clay ‘I pretend I’m Thor’ Matthews can’t at least get a hand in his face? You can blame the refs if you want, but I’d blame the twelve fucking points you only managed to score.”

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Jay Cutler on His New NFL Women’s Apparel Commercial

“OK, Bears Fans. Guess the over-under on how many of those chicks I chose for that commercial. I’ll give you a hint: they all blew me.”


Jay Cutler on Sam Hurd

“Yeah so, I was making somewhat racially charged (it’s cool, some of my friends are black) jokes about him selling drugs. I didn’t mean for him to take it seriously. And I’m not saying I ever bought anything from him, but on a completely unrelated note I do need to go find a new, uh, pharmacist. Yeah, they closed the Walgreen’s near my apartment….”


Jay Cutler on his broken thumb

“I broke it off in Philip Rivers’ ass. Whatever, a bet’s a bet.”


Jay Cutler on Deotroit’s Nick Fairley

“He has all the likeability and scruples of Jerry Sandusky and somehow forces himself on you with less subtlety”


Jay Cutler on the Resulting Joe Paterno Scandal

“This is the problem with state schools”


Jay Cutler on his outburst to Mike Martz

“That wasn’t to Mike Martz. My weed guy was waiting in the locker room and I was taking too long apparently. But also, fuck Mike Martz. A WNBA coach could probably come up with better plays than he does.”