Jay Cutler on playing cricket

“Yeah, of course I was good at it – I’m a natural fucking athlete. Seems like a pretty fun game though. They should make it where instead of bowling it on the ground at you they just kind of throw it hard, maybe to a guy squatting behind the hitter for that express reason. Also, you should only have to run around the field once to score. I bet a game like that would do really well here in the States.”


Jay Cutler on his outburst to Mike Martz

“That wasn’t to Mike Martz. My weed guy was waiting in the locker room and I was taking too long apparently. But also, fuck Mike Martz. A WNBA coach could probably come up with better plays than he does.”

Jay Cutler on Playing in the U.K.

“Dude, British chicks are fucking pale. Like, really pale. It’s gross.”

Ask Jay

James wants to know:

Dear Jay,

What’s with the fucking hat?

Jay’s response:

“I don’t know, James. What’s with your lack of a fucking multimillion dollar contract to play a professional sport? I’m like the god damned messiah in Chicago and I can wear whatever the hell I want during practice. Besides, I had just gotten back from chilling with some bros on Lake Michigan and I was still a little sun burnt.”

Ask Jay

Steve wants to know:

What happened between you and Kristin? And on a similar note how did it feel getting sacked 52 times last season?

Jay’s response:

“Well Steve, that’s an excellent fucking question, or should I say pair of excellent fucking questions. Pretty sure the link says “Ask Jay a Question”, not “Play 20 questions with Jay”. Anyway, in response to your first question, what the fuck do you think happened? She hit her expiration date, just like all slutskies do. Much like Bud Light, they’re best within 90 days of their born-on date. Or something like that.

Regarding the second question, it felt exactly how you’d imagine it would feel to have a bunch of huge black dudes pounding you all at once. Ask your mom, she can probably explain better.”